After Sanskrit Week, It’s Time for Arabic Week in CBSE Schools!

There was so much about Sanskrit Week in the schools off late, that there were many jokes and pun made on students and their plight during those days. This article below is purely a work of fiction, any resemblance to anything to do with the Sanskrit week is intended for just pure fun!

Couple of weeks earlier, Central Board of Secondary Education announced ‘Sanskrit Week’ for all schools in India in the 2^nd week of August 2014. In that ‘Sanskrit Week’ students from all schools across India should spend some time to memorise unrecognizable verses in Sanskrit and to write Hindi lines ending with ‘aha’ thereby bypassing it as Sanskrit verses.

There was heavy opposition from regional party leaders. They saw it as forceful imposition of Sanskrit and thereby Hinduism into the students. Leading news channels were shouting over the top of their voice that this is suppression of non- Hindu religions in India. So while there were no more murmurs over this week, so CBSE had announced ‘Arabic Week’, hence replacing the ‘Sanskrit Week’ in the period of August 7- 14.

Immediately after the announcement, there were celebrations across many of the major cities. Many Secular parties and regional parties distributed sweets and were dancing in bliss. Welcoming the announcement, ‘Only Kannada’ movement leader Ussappa, commented, “What a good move by the BJP! Every person in this world should learn Arabic, which also is a beautiful language. Knowledge of that language opens all the dimensions hidden inside the brain and makes a person rise above all the ignorance. So we urge Kannadigas to learn Arabic and use it alongside or even replace Kannada language now. Though, we will vehemently oppose imposition of Sanskrit and Hindi upon us.”

Kilavan, the Tamil leader, was seen partying with his party members outside his party office. An overjoyed Kilavan explained, “Arabic was the language spoken in India before RSS came. They hid Sanskrit parchments purposely and sent archaeologists to those areas and thereby falsely proving to people that Sanskrit was spoken in India. So we will agitate against Sanskrit and Hindi imposition on us.” Even Kerala government expressed happiness over this announcement and asked for extension of this Arabic Week for 52 weeks every year.

Trinamool Congress has requested that Arabic be made Official language of India replacing Hindi. Then Indians can easily talk with neighbouring Pakistan and Afghanistan. They said, “If Arabic is one of the official language of United Nations and if India is part of that United Nations, so doesn’t it mean indirectly that Arabic can be official language of India too? Then why are they forcing Hindi and Sanskrit on us?”

Posters like the one below were pasted in School noticeboards across India for “Arabic Week”-

Many intellectuals are already racing to enlist themselves in one of these schools as ‘old’ students so that they can learn Arabic and highlight their secular credentials. As it is Right- to- Left oriented language, scientists expressed their happiness that introducing Arabic reading and writing into school curriculum will allow the unused portion of brain in students to be used.

In the meantime, Arnab Goswami continued his #DesigntoPolarise series in his NewsHour with a debate topic – “BY TERMING IT AS ‘ARABIC WEAK’, IS INDIA HURTING THE SENTIMENTS OF MUSLIMS?”